For one month now I can't find sleep.
An inner agitation is keeping me awake.
When I'm not thinking what I'll have for lunch, or learning, I can't stop thinking of photography.
Since June, 17th last year I'm on a withdrawal.
On that day I wrecked my Nikon 8800.
In the time after, I didn't had the feeling of loss, I was just ashamed that I treated something worth 800€ so worse.

In the beginning of this year something strange happened.
Till then I haven't felt the urge to take photos etc. I tried to get things in my studies and the "general situation" straight.
I found a website with a tutorial on "How to become a awesome photographer".
I read it off the reel.
The main message was, in my eyes, that technical issues aren't the cause for good photographs. It's all about thinking and seeing.
On one page the author gave 10 names, from whom you can "learn".
Diane Arbus
Richard Avedon
William Eggleston
Walker Evans
Robert Frank
Andreas Gursky
Annie Leibovitz
Sebastião Salgado
August Sander
I went to the Central library of Hamburg, I've never been before, and borrowed one book exemplary for each.
They didn't fit in two baskets and my brother had to help me with them...
Since I had to leave home in two days, I spend almost all of my time over these books. I don't know if I learned anything, I couldn't name a thing. I just "felt different" afterwards.

Back in my tiny, noisy cell here in my dorm, where I still am, I had nothing but me, my analog Canon Av-1 and my old books.
I was really eager to take analog shots in b/w. I never stepped out the door without my cam, but everytime I consider to take a picture, I somehow felt "stigmatised" as a guy who isn't just walking on the street, but takes photogaphs. This and the high costs of prints (I spent about 80€ this month) stopped me of taking photos.
And that's about the time the unrestlessness began...

Well, so again a new Journal entry..

Me and Tenshi have planned our next session, after the last one wasn't so effective (still I enjoyed it^^)
Unfortunatly I've taken no photos at all...

I suppose I found the flaw which is responsible.
So we just walked through the city and (talking for me) didn't know what to shoot(^^)
Ok, the idea was to take some "memory shots of the centre of Hamburg, but I believe that's just a too wide topic to have a concrete understanding, what that would mean to take a photo of in that very moment.
We thought the problem was not knowing WHERE to go.
But I believe the problem was not to know WHAT to shoot.

The next session will have a "topic" and I'm so curious that I'm looking forward to do some test shots and do some thinking about the realization. I'm very anxious to do it.
Maybe a whole picuture series will turn out.


The topic is a secret^^

Well, so more than 3 month passed since my last journal entry and I son't want to see it anymore.
Strange feeling that I almost finsished my first semester in law.. oO
11th of February I'm comming
I can't wait to get home and see my new mointainbike.
Me and my cousin took the plan to do a 10 days tour over the alps.. Germany-Venice. I think I'll do a journal for that with a lot of pictures and so on...
I'm very anxious to train for it and buy all the cool stuff you need for it.
That's what's bothering me at the moment, as there are no major tests in the next future...
^^

So finally I reached Bavaria. Before I left home I bought 30 b/w 100/24 films to have some fun here in the mountains. And well two films are already full and I'm going to expose them by myself in the univerity's laboratory. I hope I won't mess up with them. I think there are some cool photos...
I had the idea to start a new blog lately, with some new ideas, but I think at the moment it's not the right time for that kind of stuff.
So maybe in my holidays or so.
But some new photos will be here soon, promised

So this is it, the last blog entry... finally
Today I thought a lot about what I can write in my last entry while I wanted to do a picture being worth to be the last. It's not the best I took today, but it's the most crisp one... the others are() blurred...
[link]
This photoblog was a very useful experience I think. Before this I just took photos out of my window when it came to the worst and I were too tired to go somewhere... I didn't have the "fear" of being embarressed in public by posting "bad" pictures
Now I went somewhere almost every day and tried to do the best pictures I could do.
And as a nice side feature I have now photographed the most interesting things in a 5km radius around my home and have a good bunch of photos I can remember my "hometown" of when I'm down in Bavaria...

So I want to thank everybody who faved, watched and commented here me and on my work I really appreciate it that you spent some time with my little works of art.
And a special thanks to Tenshi I know what you thought about my little "project", but somehow it motivated me And when a picture wasn't that good and had just one pageview I always knew who it was ^^


So this is it

The End.